Well Well Well...

Guess who still keeps a picture of yours truly in his locker???

Hur hur hur...

...I am still laughing my ass off!

Do You Wanna Dance?

Just as the picture and my (sizzling hot) new playlist would suggest, I miss clubbing. No really, I do.

Was thinking of making my big return (after my 2-week hiatus) to Powerhouse this Sunday, but I have a Kenduri (feasting celebration) at home, and you know I have to play host, which means that I'll be running around a lot once the prayer-part of the celebrations end, which then cues for the start of the feasting-part of the night!

Aww dang! And I still have no idea who my grandparents invited to the celebrations (besides my family)! One thing I'm certain of is that the house is gonna be packed with people, but for how long... that's something I can never predict. Double dang!

Hmmm... We'll see how things go lah. If I'm not too tired, I might just drop by Powerhouse. If not then I'd have to wait till next week.

Then again, I could always drop by Play tonight. Hehe! Like I said, we'll see how it goes. (But do holler at me if anyone wants to club tonight! Hehe!)

You Don't Wear My Chains

As I'm typing this entry, I'm sneering. Why? Look over at the sidebar. No one has yet to attempt on my quiz, even though it has more than 20 views on it already. Hur hur hur... If it's anything, I'm happy. Yes, I'm a cynic. I know. Why am I happy, you may wonder?

You thought you knew me, but all along you had no idea who I really was. And it is now a proven fact!

Oh, and by "you", I'm referring to each and every one out there who've had nothing better to do than to bitch and spread cock-and-bull stories about myself. Yes, I'm referring to you people... Hmmm, anyone felt a pinch there? Hur hur hur...

So instead of running that foul, rotten mouth (mints, anyone?), inject yourselves with more integrity and actually get to know the person you're bitching about, rather than to pass judgement on a complete stranger. Oh the irony! Haha!

Up yours, bitches!!

This is the song, lala lala, Maman's song...

More Than Meets The Eye

If you have yet to catch Transformers (the movie), I have 3 words for you: Believe The Hype!

As a kid, I wasn't really a big fan of the animated series. Yes I'd watch it every now and then, but I didn't really dig the series. Now the movie, on the other hand, is a different story altogether. I loved every second of it! Yes I succumbed to the hype, and boy oh boy, it sure did pay off!

Initially, I didn't really have my hopes high on the movie being that entertaining at all. To be frank, I thought it'd be just as dull and humourless as the series, but all that proven wrong, and you can have my word for it!

Go catch it while it's still screening in cinemas everywhere. If not, wait for the DVD. Better stil, go catch it now and get the DVD later when it's released!

Jello

That is what your legs feel like after cooping yourself up in the house for 11 consecutive days, and that was exactly what my legs felt like when I finally decided to step out of the house!

I tell you, I have never felt so self-conscious about the way I walked before! It was so weird lah, having that little voice in your head repeating the lines "Eh.. Steady now.. Balance.. Balance.." and "Oh shit, is anyone looking at me for the wrong reasons?" almost every other minute! A total deja vu moment of myself when I first came out of the closet 3 years ago! I felt so twink-ish lah! Oh my god, si bei tak glam can?!

Note to self: The next time you (I) come out of isolation, warm your (my) skinny chopstick legs up first! Goodness!!!

But at the end of the day, despite the jello (not J-Lo) and the "Uh-oh, I think my legs' about to cramp up" moments, it was all damn worth it.

Anyway, my first stop was Vivo where I had to settle some stuff. After which I went for a haircut at HarbourFront Centre. Was deciding which salon to try out before finally deciding on Jean Yip, cos' all the other salons were charging kazoos! Heck, even Supercut, which is internationally recognised mind you, costs cheaper! Bleah~

Oh, and I think I've outgrown the phase of having funky (and somewhat outrageous) hairstyles. For the first time in over a year, I decided to get myself a simple cut-and-wash without any fancy requests whatsoever. Just a simple high-slope on the sides and a trim on the top. (This is where you go "Waaahhhhhhh....")

Unlike before, I no longer feel that I need a fancy haircut to stand out from everyone else because from what I've come to realise, it was my spontaneous out-going personality, and the fact that I'm an all-out a nice guy (unless you step on my tail of course) that all along was, and still is the reason why I'm blessed to have certain individuals who never fail to shower me with their undying love, care and concern. They've always loved me even back when I was spotting that Armani 'do, so why would they not now, right?

Hur hur.. Talk about a revitalizing boost of self-esteem huh?

Moving on, I then rushed down to Plaza Sing where I was to meet Frederick for a movie. Okay, we initially planned to catch the 8:00pm show at Orchard Cine but because I was running late (much due to the traffic jam which stretched from Telok Blangah Road all the way to Jalan Membina!), and knowing that we couldn't make it in time to have dinner before catching the show, we decided to catch the 8:45 show at Plaza Sing, but since they were only left with front row seats for that particular slot, we ended up catching the 9:10 show instead. Oh, and even then, we were seated at the third row from the screen! Bleah~

After getting the tickets, we 2 hungry monsters (okay okay, I was more hungry than he was) then searched for a nice place for dinner, but because it was literally packed everywhere, we decided to walk over to The Cathay for a nice meal at Billy Bombers. That was when it struck us, "Since we're having dinner at The Cathay, why didn't we think of catching the movie there in the first place?!"

That was a classic "Arbish!" moment for us both, but it's so funny lah! Blur-like-sotong much? Hehe.

As always, the meal at Bombers was alright. Decided not to order my usual classic B53 burger though. Was in the mood to try something new, but knowing damn well how indecisive I am when it comes to ordering food, it took me ages before I finally settled for the Mixed Grill. By then my tummy was already roaring like a timpani roll! And the fact that my food took so long (seriously, mine came 15 minutes after Fred's Fish & Fries was served!) made that timpani roll seem more like a long sustained note!

Okay, what's with me suddenly using musical terms I was more familiar with during my band days as adjectives? Hmmm... Must be because Stabat Mater Dolorosa's on repeat mode right now! Hehe. Well aaaaanyway...

When my Mixed Grill was finally served (god bless the Nepalese boy who served me), I spared no time in enjoying the Turkey Steak, Sirloin Steak and Jumbo Hotdog! Oh oh oh, and speaking of the Jumbo Hotdog, Fred and I had a back-and-forth moment revolving around innuendos and puns. C'mon, what's a meal without a good sexual pun, right right right?? Haha!

Okay okay, when we stepped into the restaurant, I glanced upon this SPG minah and her Ang Moh boyfriend, and was basically looking at what they were having lah. And then I noticed that the Ang Moh had a jumbo Hotdog on his plate, so when I decided not to have the B53, I thoroughly looked through the menu in search of the dish which had the Jumbo Hotdog in it lah! And and...

Fred: So what're you having?
Me: Dunch know lei. Just know I saw that Ang Moh with the Jumbo Hotdog.
Fred: (Chuckles)
Me: Huh? What's so funny? (beat) Ehh... Ooh! Hehe... Oops! What I meant was, I saw that Ang Moh having a Jumbo Hotdog!
Fred: (Continues Chuckling)
Me: Oh my god, so salah! Haha!

So anyway, bottom line is, I enjoyed the food and I enjoyed the milkshake! No wait, make that a malt shake, or as how I described it to Fred, "Vanilla Milkshake with Horlicks!"

But I must say though, the one thing that I really hate about eating at Bombers is the fact that by the time I'm done with my meal and milkshake, I'd always end up too full for desserts, and you know I can never go to a reataurant and not order desserts! Hmph!

Hehe... Okay, enough about that. Anywho, once we were done with dinner, we then made our way back to Plaza Sing (yes, I know. "Arbish!") for our movie, but more on that in my next post! :)

Hello, world. It's nice to see you again.

The Moment You've Been Waiting For

11 days



...of tears...


...of self-hatred...


...of isolation...


...of hell...




And after 11 days


...of reflections...


...of more reflections...


...of further more reflections...




I HAVE SURVIVED.




...And finally...


...after 11 days...


...after 264 hours...


...after 15,840 minutes...




I'M STEPPING OUT OF THE HOUSE!!

Recess!

For the past 3 days, I couldn't stop thinking about my secondary school life. My friends, my teachers, my band. The memories kept flowing like the Nile. I miss being that notorious teenager who never bothered to do his homework, and would rather attend band practice than to attend Maths tutorial, even when "O" Levels was only a few weeks away. Haha! Gee, those surely were the days. The only thing I have left are pictures and memories imprinted in my memory banks. Sigh...

These are the group of people I miss a whole lot:


The Clique:


Fond memories of the old school building.


On Prom Night (not in picture: Pei Qi)

The Class:


(Half of) The most notorious Sec 3/4 Express class
in the history of Mayflower Secondary!

The Band Peeps:


My Girls


De Xing: My Junior cum Smoking Kaki


The twins & I


My seniors Hasinah & Nany


1/3 of the band (2003)

The Mats & Minahs:


9 months ago.


Prom Night I


Prom Night II


BayBeats 2005

The Boys:







The Girls:







Other Individuals:


Me and my Glama-Mama, Hidayah!


Maman & Taufiq:
Friendship brought us together. Ego tore us apart.


Mrs. Grace Ong: The Chemistry teacher I had a huge crush on.


Got MILF?

At times I wish I could just re-visit the good ol' days at the good ol' beige building situated at Ang Mo Kio Ave 3, but fact of the matter is, they're all but distant memories now. What's left are the friendships forged in those 4 memorable years.

Okay, I officially feel old...

So You Think You Know Me?

Finally, here it is... the moment of truth.


So you think Maman's life is an open book?

So you think Maman's life is a staged play?

So you think you know all that there is to know about Maman?


Well, here's your chance to prove yourself.

As you would have noticed by now, I have linked a "How well do you know me" test, and I've embedded the scoreboard on the sidebar.

Now listen up! I'm putting up an open challenge to each and every single one of you who are in my acquaintance, regardless of your position in my life! I challenge you to take up this test.

What's in it for you? Well, let me finish.

I will post a new test once every fortnight (for the uneducated, that's once every 2 weeks), and at the end of the month I will review the results for BOTH tests.

The winner of each test is determined when:

• You score above 75%
• Your percentage score is the highest among those in the >75% group

At the end of the month, I will invite both winners for a buffet dinner at The Hyatt Hotel's "Straits' Kitchen" as an appreciation of their depth of knowledge about me and my life. Oh, and in case it's still not clear to you yet, the dinner's on me.

Even though my financial capacity usually wouldn't allow for such extravagance (especially since I'm the breadwinner of the household), I'm still willing to put aside that sum of money for these 2 friends of mine for they have proven themselves to be worthy of such sacrifice.

What am I trying to prove, or get out of this whole test, you may wonder? Simple.

I've been hearing so many rumours about myself for the longest time (especially in the gay circle) now and to be honest, I'm so sick of hearing such myths about myself.

So, if you think you know me so goddamn well that it gives you the right to spread such malicious rumours and accusations about me, my life and my family, then I all the more dare you to take up the challenge! If you can prove to me that you know me that damn well, then I will personally grant you the authority to spread such rumours about myself, even though I know they're most certainly not true.

Yes, I'm so fucking sick and tired of people (half of whom don't even know me!) passing judgement and spreading cock-and-bull stories about things they know nothing about, that I'm willing to bring it up one notch and put my personal pride and dignity on the line!!!

You think you know me... But you have no idea!

It Has Been

...7 Days since I locked myself up in the house.

...7 Days since I last took a puff.

...12 Days that I have been sober.

S H O C K E D !!!

OH MY GOD !!!

Okay, I'm STILL reeling from the shock. Erm, if you wanna know (I'm sure you do), this is why...

Your True Love Is a Cancer

Why you'll love a Cancer: Cancer's loyal and sincere heart makes your own sensitive heart melt. Caring and devoted, a Cancer will take the lead in pursuing you - and not give up! Why a Cancer will love you: You're laid back enough to deal with Cancer's little mood swings and freak-outs. A fellow homebody, you know how make Cancer comfortable and at home with you.

What Sign Is Your True Love?

Erm... Erm... HE is a Cancer...



Is it merely a coincidence,
or is it a clear indication
that you were meant for me,
just as how
I've surrendered myself to you?

Hmmm... Interesting...

So birds of a feather DO flock together... Hmmm... Interesting indeed...

...And no, that's wasn't meant to be a good thing.

Hur Hur Hur

Get Your Sexy Name

Hmmm... I know of people who can testify to that! Wink wink... Haha!!!

Hallellujah to that!

My Porcelain Doll

Dear friend,

I totally understand and empathize with your sorry plight. I can most certainly relate to your situation for I was once in your shoes, having to constantly put on a happy and cheerful (sometimes crazy) front just so that everyone around me is happy and that the air which surrounds me is filled with no lack of positive energy.

A friend of mine once said that that is, to a certain extend, a noble deed. However, you must realize that even deeds of such nobility has its drawbacks, and that such shortcomings may often than not break your inner soul, thus turning you into a porcelain doll - beautiful on the outside, yet hollow on the inside. Furthermore, the exterior will always be threatened by its fragility and its propensity to crack, or worse, crumble into pieces.

Thus my friend, let me now pass on the same advice to you, just as it was passed to me by the same friend; Lose Yourself.

Let go of all inhibitions and be yourself. In most scenarios, you are free to let yourself be heard for that is your right as a human being. You are also entitled to let others know of how and what you feel, regardless of whether it's positive or otherwise. Moreover, if you were to see it from a different light, you'd realize that you should not shortchange or deprive the respective parties of the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth! Haha!!

In your lifetime, you'd meet 2 different types of people - those who love you, and those who hate you. This is a fact of life which no one (including you and I) can run away from, nor is it something which you can avoid happening.

Heck, you shouldn't even bother trying to please everyone, or try to be in everybody's good books because, as thick as your mask is right now, there are others whose masks are even thicker! And when you come across with such people, boy oh boy are you in for a feast made up entirely of plastic!

Trust me, I should know better. Being in the gay circle is like living in a Tupperware factory!

My point is, why bother to try and be nice to such people when they'd hold resentments towards you anyway?

So go on and run that mouth, girl. Don't let anyone (anyone!) step on your tail and get away with it scot-free! Stand up for yourself and let the whole world know that even though you can be loads of fun, you can also be a case full of poison, and that is entirely dependable on their words and actions!

I've already established myself (in the gay circle) as a no-bullshit bitch! Be kind, and you'd get kindness back in return. Step on me once, and I'll make sure it gets to where there wouldn't be any room left for you to step on me again!

Hey, I'm still very much the same chap you all know, just that now (or for the past year and a half, actually), I wouldn't hesitate to turn into that big ol' bitch and bring you down hard.

So there you go, girl. Take that mask off and let everyone love you for who you are, not how nice you are to every single person that walks into your life.

Alright now, I shall end here. Take care, friend.


Love me or hate me, it's still an obsession.
Love me or hate me, that is the question.
If you love me then thank you!
If you hate me then fuck you!

- "Love Me Or Hate Me" by Lady Sovereign

Locked Up

I've been locking myself up in the house for close to 6 days now, and even though I have grown to like the peace from being away from everyone and everything, the past 6 days has also been a healing route filled with spikes and splinters, not to mention, it has been a rocky one from the start.

And after 6 days of solitude, I just want you to know that... I miss you.

...I miss you so much.

I'm Still Here.

As you can see, I've finally updated my links. Anyway, if you're a random (but constant) reader of my blog and would like your blog/homepage to be linked, just holler me up at the tagboard or something aight?

Anyway, speaking of links, I came across the blog of a dear friend of mine, someone whom I was once close to. And that friend had posted an entry which I believe was meant for me, considering some of the details in the post were coincidentally similar of those in her anonymous tag, as well as the sms she sent a couple of weeks later.

Well friend, I just want you to know that I'm still here. The Maman you knew then is still the Maman you know now, only stronger and less tolerant of bullshit.

Yes, I may have moved on just as how we all (as human beings) move on from one chapter to another, but you have certainly not been forgotten.

And by the way, I know that you visit my blog on a daily basis. It's reflected on the tracker-device thiggamajig that's on my blog.

So You Think You're Discreet?

For the first time in a loooooooooooooong time, I decided to update my Trevvy profile. Before I go on, I'm sure by now you'd know that I prefer Fridae to Trevvy, and that I update my Fridae account (usually) on a weekly basis.

Once I was done updating my photos and profile, I decided to browse through the profiles that were online at that time, and soon after I came across this account with the username.... Erm... Nah, I think I better not reveal the username.

Upon reading the "Extra Extra" section (in Friendster terms, "More About Me") of the profile, I suddenly had a feeling that I knew the person. Not only that, but I had a feeling that I was once close to that person. And so my curiousity led me to check out the bugger's photos.

He only had 1 photo of himself, and even that was a silhouette! First thought in my head was "Ugh, confirm discreet!"

I looked closer and closer AND CLOSER until, to my shock, I realised that the profile belonged to KS, my second ex!!!!!

"Hmmm... I thought he said he didn't have a trevvy account. As far as I can remember, he said he only had ONE gay account, which was the Fridae account he used to message me."

Luckily, just as my mind was about to mess me up big time, I brushed off all thoughts and said "Oh what the heck! So what if he has a trevvy account, and that it's been around even before I met him (which proved that he lied all along)??? He's not my boyfriend what!!! Whatever lah!!"

I then messaged him on Trevvy and revealed to him I knew the profile was his! I mean.. How can I not know?!?

Let's get real, guys. I was sleeping with that boy for 3 fuckin' months. Tell me, in the 3 months that our paths crossed, which part of his body have I not seen or entered?!

With that said, it's obvious I could tell that it was him, even though it was somewhat of a silhouette image. Furthermore, the details on the profile and his style of writing is soooo familiar, how could I not have noticed?!

Yes, that was how much I paid attention to him back then!!!

Anyway, he didn't reply to my message. Instead, when I browsed through his profile the next day, I found that the photo had been removed and replaced with a picture of a car (which, by the way, made it even more obvious! Hello, soccer and cars are his 2 loves! Like, duh?) and the "Extra Extra" portion was added with "im discreet, msg me for my pics."

Okay, I actually laughed when I saw the changes made. I mean, can you make things any more obvious to your ex that you lied all along about having a Trevvy account???

Oh oh, and when I sms-ed him "Barely 24 hours since I messaged you after finding out your trevvy account, and you've already removed your pic. Why? Too obvious for a discreet is it? Haha!", I didn't even get a reply... Even up till now, I have not gotten a respond!

As good as he was in hiding the profile from me, I must say that he really sucks at covering things up!! Perhaps it was his conscience that led him to behave in such a manner, provided he had one in the first place lah!


Aaannnyyywwwaaayyy.....


Dear Mr Chong Kuo Shiong a.k.a Joe (apparently that's what your clients call you, right?),

In the case that you're reading this entry, let me get THIS across to you in the simplest manner possible.

Look, I don't know if you hid or lied to me about anything else (besides the trevvy account) throughout the time that we were together, because honestly I can no longer give a hoot about it, but in the case that you did, I'll just leave all of that (whatever lies that I've yet to find out) hanging on your conscience, and your conscience alone.

That's all.

In The MotherHood

Got to know of this online community project on The Ellen Degeneres Show. Check out the weekly webcast. They're currently on episode 5 right now.

It's pretty funny lah, especially the scene where the daughter of the lead character (the same girl who was in The King of Queens) took her first poop in a potty that's actually on sale in a hypermart! I kept smacking my forehead and couldn't stop laughing!

Alright, 'nuff said. Go check out "In The MotherHood" now!


(Oh, I've linked the website to the image above. So just click on the image to go to the webbie lah ah, but not after u've finished reading all of my updates! Hehe!)

Ballsy Cutesy

If you've seen the latest S-League promo ad that's been on air for the past few days, I'm sure you'd moreorless understand exactly what I'm about to say.

The China boy is sooooooo cute lahhh!!!

Haha! For those of you who have no clue (or, can't be bothered) whatsoever about the developments of the S-League (like me), let me list out the boy's details and stats, and then let's compare it to mine.
(Oh btw, I desperately searched for an image of the boy, but sadly I could not get any at the moment)

Name: Liu Huoming
Club: Liaoning Guangyuan FC
Jersey No: 14
Position: MF (erm, that's "midfielder" if I'm not wrong)
Date of Birth: 4 November 1987 (Woots! We're the same age!)
Height: 179cm
Weight: 70kg

Alright, now it's my turn.

Name: Maman
Club: Powerhouse, St. James Power Station (Hehe!)
Jersey No: 21 (My birthday lah!)
Position: Top! (Hur hur hur)
Date of Birth: 21 May 1987
Height: 178cm
Weight: 55kg

For someone who's almost has the same height as me, he's pretty heavy to be an athlete. Or perhaps I'm just too skinny. Either way, it doesn't matter. Bottom line is he's so fucking cute! Like, sooooo fucking cute lah!

Okay you know I love cheena-piangs right... With that said, how can I resist drooling over a cute cheena-piang from China?! Hehe!

Departure of The Rabbid Wolverine

I am deeply saddened and shocked over the demise of one of the most respected wrestlers in the WWE, Chris Benoit. He was only 40. What's even more shocking to me is the cause of death. Investigators have classified the death as a double homicide-cum-suicide!

It is apparently believed that Benoit killed both his wife and 7-year old son on Sunday, before taking his own life the next day.

I'm sure I'm not the only one who share this sentiment, but I'd never expect such an outcome from someone like Benoit. I mean, yes, he's usually straight-faced on-air (to uphold his reputation as the rabbid wolverine) but outside the ring, he's been described as a funny and loving person.

I had the honour of meeting him during an autograph session 5 years ago at Suntec City where he, along with Torrie Wilson and Tajiri were in town to promote the Smackdown Tour (that was the one with The Rock VS Chris Jericho as the main event). Though the moment was brief, it was memorable as it was the first time in the (then) 13 years since I started watching wrestling that I actually got to meet a Superstar. Or in this instance, three!

One of the best technical wrestlers to ever step foot in the ring, Benoit's passing will definitely be a great loss to the professional wrestling industry. To add on, his passing couldn't come as a worst time.

For the uninformed, one of the best female managers of all time, The Sensational Sherri Martel, passed away on June 15th 2007. She was 49.

May the souls of the 2 icons rest in peace.

Untitled.

Love that lives in the heart
cannot be erased with time.

No one can change the direction
of love that lives in the heart.

Even if the encounter is brief,
its impression shall last a lifetime.

If you have loved,
then you'd know that that,
in itself, is ...the answer.

- From the movie "Bishonen"