Dear friend,I totally understand and empathize with your sorry plight. I can most certainly relate to your situation for I was once in your shoes, having to constantly put on a happy and cheerful (sometimes crazy) front just so that everyone around me is happy and that the air which surrounds me is filled with no lack of positive energy.
A friend of mine once said that that is, to a certain extend, a noble deed. However, you must realize that even deeds of such nobility has its drawbacks, and that such shortcomings may often than not break your inner soul, thus turning you into a porcelain doll - beautiful on the outside, yet hollow on the inside. Furthermore, the exterior will always be threatened by its fragility and its propensity to crack, or worse, crumble into pieces.
Thus my friend, let me now pass on the same advice to you, just as it was passed to me by the same friend; Lose Yourself.
Let go of all inhibitions and be yourself. In most scenarios, you are free to let yourself be heard for that is your right as a human being. You are also entitled to let others know of how and what you feel, regardless of whether it's positive or otherwise. Moreover, if you were to see it from a different light, you'd realize that you should not shortchange or deprive the respective parties of the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth! Haha!!
In your lifetime, you'd meet 2 different types of people - those who love you, and those who hate you. This is a fact of life which no one (including you and I) can run away from, nor is it something which you can avoid happening.
Heck, you shouldn't even bother trying to please everyone, or try to be in everybody's good books because, as thick as your mask is right now, there are others whose masks are even thicker! And when you come across with such people, boy oh boy are you in for a feast made up entirely of plastic!
Trust me, I should know better. Being in the gay circle is like living in a Tupperware factory!
My point is, why bother to try and be nice to such people when they'd hold resentments towards you anyway?
So go on and run that mouth, girl. Don't let anyone (anyone!) step on your tail and get away with it scot-free! Stand up for yourself and let the whole world know that even though you can be loads of fun, you can also be a case full of poison, and that is entirely dependable on their words and actions!
I've already established myself (in the gay circle) as a no-bullshit bitch! Be kind, and you'd get kindness back in return. Step on me once, and I'll make sure it gets to where there wouldn't be any room left for you to step on me again!
Hey, I'm still very much the same chap you all know, just that now (or for the past year and a half, actually), I wouldn't hesitate to turn into that big ol' bitch and bring you down hard.
So there you go, girl. Take that mask off and let everyone love you for who you are, not how nice you are to every single person that walks into your life.
Alright now, I shall end here. Take care, friend.
Love me or hate me, that is the question.
If you love me then thank you!
If you hate me then fuck you!
- "Love Me Or Hate Me" by Lady Sovereign
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