My Confession

The cat's finally out of the bag. Sharon and Ivan knew it all along. Apparently, so did he. It was a matter of time before I spilled the beans. Damn my mouth. Damn my big rotten mouth. Do I regret confessing? A little. Not of what they mean, because it's true. But of the implications that saying it will have.

Now I feel awkward. I'm not sure if you do. All I want is to be with you. But I know it won't happen. Only a miracle could ever change that. Because we're such good friends, you and I. We have so much in common. Not of interests or of superficial trivias, but of traits and our philosophies of life. Your beliefs, your principles, we're alike in so many ways. Yet that still won't change the fact that love is not for you and I.

I've paid my dues, and I'm sick of being frozen. Loving someone is hard to do, after all the pain that I went through. From Adi to KS, to the ones who passed by in between. None gave me the courage to go back to being that vulnerable teen. Vulnerable to love, vulnerable to pain. Yet here you are, and shit, I'm starting to go insane.

Why am I rhyming? What's happening to me? Am I starting to unfreeze, or is freezing the only way to be? Fuck, there it is again! That bloody rhyme! The bloody rhymes and the bloody confession. Why did I do it, knowing damn well of the repercussions?

To reciprocate these feelings, I shall not ask. But as a thought to consider, I'm sure it's not a daunting task?

Aargh!!! Why the fuck am I bloody hell rhyming?!?!

I better stop here. The rhyming's getting on my nerves. But before I go, here's a poem for you, the one that I love.


I cherish your friendship
with all of my heart,
and I hope that nothing
will break it apart.

I know that you probably
just want to be friends,
but I have to tell you how I feel
before my time to say it ends.

I've started to see you
as more than just a friend.
To be honest, I can even see you
as the one I spend my life with all the way til the end.

I know that sounded stupid
and that you probably don't agree,
but if you're looking for a boyfriend,
why not make it me?

I'd always be faithful.
You could place your trust in me.
And I would always try my hardest
to give you your wants and needs.

I know you probably hate this,
and I'm running out of rhyme,
so if you want to think it over,
I'll give you some time.

Please consider it carefully.
You just might be surprised
at how much love you could find
if you looked into my eyes.

If you held me in your arms
so masculine and strong,
you just might find what you've been missing
your true love all along.