I mean, c'mon, I've not seen all of them (collectively as a group) in a year! So after a year of living separate lives and all, there must be some sort of expectation with respect to the gathering itself, right right right?
Right.
Alright, so they were all (note: ALL) supposed to gather at my shop at six-ish, and true enough they all came at half-past six, which is the exact time both Ana and I had forcasted earlier. And so with that we were all off to a great start for a great evening, right? Wrong.
With the group standing behind me (I was busy closing the shop), it seemed that the air was overly filled with feminine aura, or that it had lacked some of that testosterone energy which we males usually emit. Either way, they both boil down to one simple question: Where the F were the boys???
The only creatures in the group with dicks and balls were Mus and Farhan, who were the boyfriends of Ana and Rose respectively. So once again I asked, where the F were the boys??
Maman: Budak-budak lelaki semua mana?
(Where are the guys?)
Ana: Diorang tak join kita semua buka. Entah diorang semua ada event NS ke apa entah. They'll join us later.
(They won't be joining us for the meal. They all have some NS-related event to attend to. They'll join us later.)
As we made our way towards Makan House, I thought something smelled fishy, and you know I don't like fish, so all the more I knew my premonition was right! Haha!
I said to myself, "Nash and Fiq are in Police; Keem, Fiz and Im are in CD; and Feeraz has yet to enlist. How can they ALL have the same "NS-related function" to attend to?? Today's not National Day, neither is it Home Team Day or Total Defence Day."
5 minutes had passed and we were all seated at Makan House. As usual, the crazier ones among us started rolling in with the jokes, while the rest started updating each other on the recent happenings in their lives. I did both, while at the same time trying not to get too distracted by the smses I was exchanging with someone. Who else if not my elder cousin who's in NS right now?
(Smart, Maman. Smart.)
"Bro, kau tau tak niari ada apa2 event involving both CD ngan Ampai?"
(Bro, do you know if there're any events involving both CD and Police Force?)
"Asal eh?"
(Why?)
"Member2 aku tak turun pasal diorang cakap ada event NS. Betul eh?"
(My friends aren't around as they said they have an NS event to attend. Is it true?)
"Kalau ada takkan aku kat umah sekarang?"
(Would I be at home now if there were one?)
"Hmmm, nak tipu dengan si penipu. Tak pakai otak betul!" I said to myself. Then on I kept looking at Ana as I contemplated telling her that the "NS-related event" was a lie. I finally decided against it.
6:59pm.
We ate. We joked. We laughed. We snapped photos. The boys smoked. The girls snapped even more photos.
These are the same things we do year after year after year during such gatherings, so I shall spare you the details! Haha!
After the meal, and after we parted ways with the 2 Nads (Nadhirah & Nadeera), the rest of us slowly walked towards Lavender MRT (we were all full lah!) for the second part of the night (which is also a yearly routine): GEYLANG SERAI!
Oh, but before that... Just as we were about to enter the underpass which led to the MRT Station, guess who we bumped into?? That's right: The boys! Why and how did they end up being there? Read on, I'll tell you all about it later.
What else is new with Geylang Serai during this period? Haha! I love going to Geylang Serai during the fasting month, especially towards the end of the month where the bargains are to die for, and... well, the bargains are to die for!!! Haha!!!
The outing to Geylang with the peeps was, however, tiring and unfruitful. All we did was walk one BIG round. (Oh btw, thanks for the drink, Ana)
We started at Paya Lebar MRT. We ended at Paya Lebar MRT. All that in slightly over an hour. Who goes to Geylang Serai for one pathetic hour?! It's as good as not going at all! But wait, not all was lost though. I did get something out of the big "after-meal walk": GUAVA!
(I've been craving for it for months, so you know I enjoyed every bite of it!)
After that, we went BACK to Arab Street where the remainder of us (Rose, Farhan, Sanah, Ana & Mus had to take their leave after Geylang) went shisha-ing at Al-Majlis. Alright, now this part of the night was fun. No, make that lots of fun!
The drinks were good, the desserts were good (though by Tammi's standard they're still quite tame) and the 3 hours there was well spent. Oh, we also played 2 rounds of Dare-Blackjack, where everyone would write a dare on a piece of paper and have them all placed in an empty glass. The loser of each round would then have to pick out a dare from the lot and perform the task written on the paper, whatever it may be, and boy of boy, that sure was where the fun (and grotesque) began.
Let's just say the dares included pole-dancing, catwalks, imitations of the "Beautiul Liar" video, nose-digging, and of course, what game of Dare would be complete without a round of gay-kissing or two? Haha! Oh, and credits go out to Jehan for writing that gay-kiss dare. Haha!
We left at around 2:30am or so. All in all, I kinda had fun, though during the shisha session, I did sense some bad vibes coming from one (or two) of the boys. I shan't name names, but you guys know who you are. It was apparent that there were lots of acting and pretending with regards to this boy (or boys) being comfortable around me, now that everyone knows of my orientation.
Come on lah, how can you possibly out-act someone who has had years of training in acting and actually worked in the theatre industry before?! Like, get real for a moment lah!
(Okay, Maman's in an extremely bitchy mood now. Hold on tight.)
There's a good reason why I openly display my blog's URL on my MSN nick, and it's meant to serve the purpose of letting those who have no idea of my orientation know of it without me having to actually look them in the eyes and say "Look, I'm bi."
So to address the vibes I felt coming from you guys... Boys, I've known each and every one of you for almost 8 years now. I've always regarded you as friends, and I still do, but...
Just because I came out doesn't mean I wanna hump you, assholes!!!
If I had wanted to, I'd have drugged your drinks and fucked each and every single one of your asses till I'm dry way back in Sec 3 when you guys would hang out at my place and watch porn!
Like, HEELLLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!
(But wait, I was still a virgin then. Oh well, you know what I mean!)
Seriously, you boys need a lot of growing up to do. Notice how I reffered to you as "boys" and not "men"? Go figure!
Oh, and you peeps wanna know how those boys ended up at Lavender MRT, just as the rest of us were about to head down to Geylang Serai???
Okay, here's how it goes. A week before the gathering, Ana and I were doing the planning and we were thinking of a suitable location to break our fast. Ana had mentioned that a particular someone (I ain't naming names. He knows who he is.) had suggested that we broke fast at Beach Road.
Ana and I didn't mind the food there, although, how're we gonna find seats to accomodate the near-twenty of us in the group? Worse, what if there weren't enough seats for us all? And so we decided against the idea based on our worry of the potential lack of seats.
So why were they at Lavender? Simple. They lied to us all and went ahead with their (or should I say his) plan and broke fast at Beach Road instead.
Now look, if you really insist on breaking fast at Beach Road, then by all means go ahead. But why lie? Was there a need to? You could have just said "Look, we really wanna break our fast at Beach Road, so we won't be joining you guys at Arab Street. Shall we meet up at Paya Lebar MRT instead?"
See how much difference a little honesty (not to mention courtesy) makes? We ain't your parents and we know we can't hold you back from doing whatever you want, but keep in mind that our plan was not based on personal interest, rather, the convenience of everyone in the group.
What would've happened if there weren't enough seats to accomodate us all, even if we all sat in tables of 6? There'll be another lashing like what happened during your Hari Raya gathering last year, something I'm really glad I gave a miss (especially after hearing all that happened then).
We (Ana & I) didn't turn down your suggestion without giving it a lick of thought. We did take the suggestion into serious consideration. I'm sorry we ultimately went for the safe choice of a restaurant where we could actually reserve seats for us all. Heck, why should I even apologize?! You should thank us for taking the initiative of planning!
Just like the rest of us, Ana & I lead busy and stressful lives. She's tied down with her studies in NUS and I'm tied down with my family business, but YET, we still took it in our own accord to plan something. What in the fucking hell did you do?!
Hello, I actually left my poor aunt to handle the shop for 1 1/2 hours just to walk around Arab Street in the scorching hot afternoon sun in search of a suitable place for us all to fucking gather!
We even had to give certain places (with better ambience and food) a miss because we know how stingy you mothafuckin' misers are when it comes to forkin out money, even if it's for your own fuckin appetite and tummies!
So, if this is your perfect idea of a fucking "thank you" to both Ana and I, then I say you better give your kindergarten teacher a tight slap across the kisser for not teaching you the concept of honesty, or a sense of appreciation for that matter!
Grow up, boys! That's what NS is supposed to do! I guess you're very much beyond help huh? Get a psychie. Perangai buruk lama tak hilang-hilang! I'm so glad I gave your chalet thingy a miss too. And now I'm seriously considering giving the Hari Raya gathering a miss. I've got better things to do than to bother myself with such drama. I could use one less problem in my life right now. Ugh!~
(Maman lights up a cigarette)
Aaaaah... Okay, I'm fine now. :)
P/S: If any of you boys aren't the slightest bit happy by what I said, then I guess you should start dealing with it, cos at least I'm honest enough to let you fuckers know how I feel!
