Mothers.

The following events took place on Oct 20, 2007.


This was the day where I wished everyone would've just stayed home and kept their doors shut, because I had a total of 5 invitations to Hari Raya open houses and visiting on the day itself; out of which, I decided to attend 2.

Well technically I only decided on 1, because the other was a case of you-better-be-there-before-the-distant-relatives-start-asking-1001-questions-on-why-you're-not-there. If you celebrate Hari Raya the way Singaporean Malay-Muslims do, then you'd know exactly what I'm talking about.

It's not a Muslim thing, though. Rather, it's a Malay social trendition (a trend which, over time, has become an age-old tradition) to uphold your family's face value; where it's simply a must to put up a front, freeze that smile on your face for 8-10 hours, and to strike up hour-long conversations with people whom you'd only get to meet during the festive season, weddings and/or funerals.

It's a lot of work, I tell you, but for conservative Malays like your parents and grandparents, it's worth more than the risk of being the "talk of the town", if you know what I mean.

Honestly, I'd kill myself if I don't hear my mom saying "What will people say?" whenever there's a function where the list of attendees extends beyond my immediate family! No, really. Here's a good example of such an instance.

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Me: How do I look?

Mom: Boy, it's a solemnization ceremony. Why're you in tees and jeans?

Me: So what? I won't be the only one anyway.

Mom: I don't give a damn if the rest were to show up naked! What would people say if they were to see my son inappropriately dressed for the occasion? They're gonna think that I can't even afford to buy my son a decent suit of Baju Kurung.

Me: Mom, it's Calvin Klein! Half of them can't even afford to buy their kids CK!

Mom: Do you think they'd care that it's CK?

Me: Then why the hell should you care that it's not Zain's Collection?

Mom: Stop talking back to your mom and change into your Baju Kurung! The last thing I want is to be the butt of all jokes!

Me: (mutters to self) ...you already are.

Mom: Oh, and boy...

Me: What?!

Mom: I'll be wearing my blue Kebaya, so make sure you wear a blue Baju Kurung. What would people say if they saw us in different coloured outfits?!

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See what I mean by it being "a lot of work"? In just a minute of conversation, the question "What would people say?" was already mentioned twice! It has gone from being a threat to a form of emotional blackmail of sorts.

Why must we care about what others have to say, anyway? Why can't everyone just mind their own beeswax? Well, even if they chose not to, why must we then feel threatened by what they might potentially say or spread around? I can always put myself in the same position too, right?

I mean, c'mon, let's face it -- I can always point out that bump I see on their youngest daughter's tummy; and I can also point out the speck of dust I see at that little corner just by the side table where the telephone's at; heck, I can even be an all-out Mak Cik Melayu Kaypo (a nosey, middle-aged Malay woman who lives for gossip) and talk about how that gold ring I noticed you had on during the last function is no longer there? Hmmmm, could it be lying in a glass case in a pawn shop somewhere??

HMMMMMMMMMMMMM...... NOW THIS IS HOT NEWWWWWSSSSSSS......

So yeah, two can always play this game, and so why the hell should we ever feel threatened?!

Oh, and by the way, that whole chunk above are just examples yeah? No, I don't know if any of my relatives' daughters' pregnant or not, and I most certainly couldn't be bothered to notice any speck of dust in their respective houses! Like, I've got a life, people! Sheesh!